Thursday, April 17, 2014

pw: kateri 



About Kateri. The Film:

With Kateri, everything was memory. Kateri may not have known, but this might have been the most direction I have ever given in these videos. Those moments when the memories pour out of your soul, overflow without regard to your stability, without regard to the reality external to your body, making a bench so much more than wood and metal stitched together. The nature of life cycling between mothers and children, your place within that stream or cycle.
There is a path where Kateri moves uphill toward the epicenter of the light to find whatever has been buried inside, buried so far buried. She finds it, and it dissolves. She moves back to her comfortable darkness, to her little farolito within her soul, to remember...to remember whether or not this piece of light burns the way that it should the way she needs it to burn and burn her so good...
Remembrance and beginnings, infertility, light, darkness, pregnant, blue, green, babies, slippery mud.
Things remind you of things that never even existed within your life, but even the new attaches to memories...and this was this place for me...I've walked by it, but never fully fit myself into it.

She continues her walk, and this time finds the beginning of a new kind of light, something more golden, something more crisp, shrouded by darkness and blue...she walks toward it, she's pulled toward it, I am pulled towards it, and I get lost in it.

Kateri embodied a lot of what I feel, and for anyone who watches this it may be the same for them...after I make these films I find this very uncontrollable, deep connection with the people that I make them with. It is very hard to explain, and not very obvious by how I act, but most of the time I feel very alone and disconnected from the people that I exist with. Making these films....they let me lose myself within the soul of these beautiful people that we make them with.

Kateri became everything. Everyone.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Cama De Piedra
password: cama

Cama De Piedra connected so closely to me, and at the moment it connected a squirrel nibbled on my ear. Other people, animate, and inanimate things may be passive and in completely different states of mind than the ones that we're in. These passive forces all around us sometimes make the heaviness lighter, easier to bear, and maybe even absurdly hilarious. That would be the most optimistic way of wrapping our minds around this constant battle with the seriousness of things. But, here it can also make us feel alone, isolated in our own minds where no one understands, making the heaviness even more heavy.
There is a truth in those heavy tears, and also in the fluffy, absurd communication breakdowns.